Marc wrote, This morning, after back surgery nearly a year ago, one of my neighborhood friends finally took his first few unassisted steps. His doctor says he should be back on his feet full-time in about two months; he just needs to build up the muscle in his legs again. When I asked my friend what he’s looking forward to most about being back on his feet, he said, “Long walks with my wife.”
His response resonated deeply with me. It’s such a strong reminder that the simple things are often the most important and that we sometimes let stifling thoughts and ineffective habits get in our way of being happy and productive.
Which is why it’s time to focus less on…
1. All the little distractions.
Focus on the activities and people that make you happy, and filter out the avoidable opposites. Truth be told, we often make our lives complicated when it’s really quite simple: Find what it is that makes you happy and spend more time doing it. Find who it is that makes you smile and spend more time with them.
2. Negativity and those who create it.
When other people treat you poorly, keep being you. Don’t ever let someone else’s bitterness change the person you are. Don’t let the silly little dramas of each day get you down either. Stay positive when negativity surrounds you. Keep calm and carry on. It takes one positive thought to overpower an entire array of negative thoughts. People who are able to find one positive point in negative situations are the ones who never give up.
3. Insensitive thoughts.
Always be kinder than necessary. What goes around comes around. No one has ever made themselves strong by showing how small someone else is. Whatever can be done, can be done more effectively when you add kindness. Whatever words are spoken, will always be more compelling when expressed with kindness.
4. Your desire to win everyone’s approval.
Your ideas and choices don’t have to be on everyone’s “approved” list. Regardless of the opinions of others, at the end of the day, the only reflection staring back at you in the mirror is your own. Make sure you’re proud of who that person is. Approach others with the belief that you’re a good person, whether they respond positively or not. It’s normal to want people to like you, but it becomes a self-imposed burden when too much of your behavior is explicitly designed to constantly reassure you of their approval.
5. What you don’t have, and may never have.
Focus on the resources you do have access to. It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to has power over you, if you allow it. Too many of us are hung up on what we don’t have, can’t have, or won’t ever have. We spend too much energy being down when we could use that same energy—if not less of it—doing, or at least trying to do, some of the things we really want to do.
So focus on the opportunities you DO have and exploit the resources you DO have access to.
Write about five things that you will do today to shift your focus more positively.
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